You can have an intimate relationship with the Holy SpiritYou have to know someone intimately to be familiar with the desires of his or her heart.

And you have to be in close proximity to hear your friend express a quiet wish.

But it takes more than intimacy, and more than proximity, to move you to sacrifice your own priorities in favour of those of your friend.

Only love will move you to lay down your life.

Such was the love of three of David’s mighty men who were close enough to hear him say, “Oh, that someone would get me a drink of water from the well near the gate of Bethlehem!”

Unbidden, the three warriors broke through enemy lines at risk of their lives to fulfil David’s wish. (2 Samuel 23:13-17)

How to Have Intimacy With The Holy Spirit

Those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. (Romans 8:5)

There is a lot of talk about the Holy Spirit in Christian circles today.

Many of us have a great longing to see the Holy Spirit move, or for His power to be released to bring healing, deliverance, signs and miracles.

Kathryn Kuhlman once said,

‘There are literally thousands and thousands in the great charismatic movement who have never become acquainted with the person of the Holy Spirit, only with His gifts.’ [1]

And sadly, that statement is as true today as it was then.

So the question I am asking of you and myself today in response to this statement is, ‘Are you one of the many—the ‘thousands and thousands’—or one of the few?’

Many times we talk about ‘using’ the gifts of the Holy Spirit.

But there is another way of life possible—where we allow the Holy Spirit to ‘use’ us.

This way of living is only going to happen when we give Him leadership of our lives.

  • When we so value His Presence with us, and the relationship that we have with Him, that we cannot bear for anything to come between us.
  • When we are listening, ready for the sound of His voice
  • When we have so become attuned to Him as a Person—to His desires and what grieves and pleases Him…

…that we will respond accordingly [2].

The Fellowship of the Spirit

May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God, and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you. (2 Cor 13:14)

The Holy Spirit is the third Person of the Trinity—God living in and with us.

He is not merely an impersonal power. The New Testament reveals the Spirit to be a Person with will, mind and emotions.

As well as empowering us, the Holy Spirit communicates and fellowship with us. He guides, teaches, helps, assures and comforts us. [3]

The Holy Spirit is God up close and personal.

The Ungrieved Presence of the Holy Spirit

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. (Eph 4:30)

Many years ago I read the story of a Chinese scholar-turned-pastor called Hsi [4].  It made a lasting impression upon me.

Pastor Hsi ministered deliverance to a troubled young man called K’ong at a conference.

A missionary who saw Hsi minister in the power of the Spirit pressed a large sum of money into his hands, as a gift towards his ministry.

Hsi received the cash without praying as to whether or not he should accept it. Immediately he felt uncomfortable.

As he went to pray about the matter, Hsi heard cries as the demonised man became uncontrollable once more.

No longer fearing Hsi, the demons in K’ong taunted him, saying ‘You have no power to control me any more.’

Realising that his soul’s response to the money had affected his ability to minister in the Spirit, Hsi went to the donor and returned the cash. He confessed that the sudden possession of a large sum of money had ‘come between his soul and God.’

Immediately he went to where K’ong was causing the commotion and quietly commanded the demons to be quiet and leave—with immediate and effective results.

Pastor Hsi later summed up this painful lesson with the words,

‘The ungrieved presence of the Holy Spirit is more to be desired than abundance of gold and silver.’

7 Ways To Begin An Intimate Relationship With The Holy Spirit

Or do you suppose that the Scripture is speaking to no purpose that says, The Spirit Whom He has caused to dwell in us yearns over us and He yearns for the Spirit [to be welcome] with a jealous love? (James 4:5, AMP)

I want to have the kind of relationship with the Holy Spirit that Kathryn Kuhlman experienced—and that Hsi valued.

If this kind of relationship with the One who is God present with you, the Holy Spirit, is what you want, here are some steps to help you move closer to Him:

1. Realise that such a relationship—fellowship with the Holy Spirit—is possible

2. Hunger and thirst for intimacy with Him

3. Learn all you can about the Holy Spirit. Study His role, purpose, names, likes and dislikes from Scripture

4. Pray—ask to know Him more and for Him to fill you

5. Make a decision to go deeper in your relationship with God—to be more available to Him

6. Desire sensitivity to the Holy Spirit—and begin to practice it

7. Allow God to put His finger on anything in your life that displeases the Holy Spirit—and deal with it

He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come. (2 Cor 1:21)

When I stand before the Father on that Day, He may ask me,

“What did you do with what I entrusted to you—your gifts and talents, your time, opportunities, relationships, and call?”

But there is another question He may ask that is currently challenging me:

“What did you do with the One I sent you?”


[1] A Glimpse Into Glory, by Kathryn Kuhlman with Jamie Buckingham
[2] Recommended Reading: Romans 8
[3] Recommended Reading: John chapters 14-16
[4] From “One of China’s Scholars” by Howard Taylor

Related Post: 7 Ways to Grow in Intimacy with the Holy Spirit

Welcome to the School of Intimacy and Prayer

  • Would you like to grow in intimacy with the Holy Spirit in the context of prayer?
  • Does the thought of being empowered in prophetic prayer stir you?

A significant amount of the teaching on the School of Intimacy and Prayer is devoted to developing your relationship with the Holy Spirit.

The Enliven School of Intimacy and Prayer is an online video course that can be completed at your own pace, and you can find out more here.

© Helen Calder
Enliven Ministries:  in the David McCracken Ministries family

183 thoughts on “How You Can Have An Intimate Relationship With The Holy Spirit”

  1. Helen, this was excellent, so timely and well said, I myself am so hungry for more of the Holy Spirit, thank you for the time and effort you put in to sharpening iron……..xoS

    1. Thank you Sandi, so thrilled to have you journeying alongside me and sharing the hunger!
      I am convinced that the level of ‘Spirit-consciousness’ that we experience as Christians is going to increase in this next season, not just in our church life, but in our everyday life.
      An important part of us preparing for that is to allow Him to stir that hunger in us, enlarging our capacity to receive and relate to Him. After being a Christian for more than 35 years, it would be so easy to think that I have experienced all there is to know of God. But I believe that there is so much more…even though I’m not sure what that LOOKS like yet!

  2. I am moved to the core reading this Helen. It’s first for me to have that relationship with the Holy Spirit then….being so much more in tune with Him, being able to effect people, places and, situations which changes things. This…..must make our short time on earth more and more fruitful and powerful!!! I want it!!!

    1. Hi there Millicent and thank you.

      I believe that one of the ways in which we can know the Spirit more in a personal way, is to know and discover more about Him through what the Bible says.

      Last week I did an informal study on the Holy Spirit by doing a search in the New Testament on every time the Holy Spirit is mentioned. I was particularly interested in learning more about the ROLE of the Spirit, and divided my notes into three sections: The role of the Holy Spirit 1. In our personal lives, 2. In the church, and 3. In bringing unbelievers to Jesus.

      I would recommend the Online Study Bible, in which you can do a keyword search:

      Another interesting study is to look into the Names of the Holy Spirit in scripture, which reveal many things about Him.
      Also, for more information about the baptism in the Holy Spirit, read Acts 2, Luke 11:13, Luke 24:49, Acts 8:14-17

  3. Very clearly presented. Been seeking info about intimacy with Him. Kind of this solidifies my quest

  4. I came to release in this period of grace, that two people can do good great and wonderful things as long as one of them is the Holy Spirit of promise.

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